Comcast’s Triple Play. It’s 5:30PM and I just pulled into the driveway from work. I’m trying to let the dog out, start dinner and relax for a few minutes, when my son comes down from the third floor to tell me our Internet service is down. I’m not too concerned at first, since we’ve had some bad storms within the past two days. I then realize that my husband seems to be watching TV without any problems and the phone is working. I tell my son to call Comcast, 1-800-COMCAST (1-800-266-2278).
I’ve got dinner cooking on the stove and I’ve just sat down when my son comes down from the third floor with phone to ear and asks me if we have an Arris modem. Well, I give him one of those, “are you talking to me” looks, and say, “I don’t know, don’t you know?” Well, now I’m up on my feet and following my son up two flights of steps to the third floor. While on the way, he’s telling me that Comcast thinks we’ve been without connection for some time, and could have been connecting remotely through our neighbors’ wireless service. Well, now he’s got my attention, since I’m hearing that I’ve been paying for a service that we haven’t had for some time and obviously didn’t need.
I reach the third floor and I’m trying to do a quick scan through the myriad of electronic devices. I pick up the blue box that reads Linksys and ask, “Is this it?” My son says, “no, he’s telling me we have an Arris Modem and that’s a router, not a modem.” So, I pick up the black box, and I say, “Is this it?” My son says, “No, that’s the Cisco Modem from Comcast.” So, then I say, “OK, I give up, if they know we have an Arris Modem in the house and they installed it, why can’t they tell us where it’s at”? My son says, “what about the box in the basement where the cable lines come into the house?” The tech on phone agrees, but suggests he send a signal to the modem first. We’re instructed to unplug the Cisco modem from the power source and wait for the lights to flash and reset. The tech also mentions at that point, that if we’re speaking to him on a landline phone, we may be disconnected when the signal is sent. He promises to call back, should this happen. We’ll the signal is sent to the modem, we try the Internet and it’s a no go, lose connection with the tech, and, you guessed it, there’s no call back.
I march down two flights of steps, stir the food on the stove, and throw some meat on the grill. Well, now I’m ready to try my hand at calling Comcast. After all, it shouldn’t take that long, how hard can this be? I pick up my cell phone and call the 1-800 number and here’s what I hear on the other end, “please enter your telephone number where you want or have service; please enter your account number; thank you for your recent payment of $148.05…; press 1 if you are having trouble with your service; press 2 if you are having trouble with your high-speed Internet; press 2 for connection issues; we would like to send a signal to your cable modem, but first we must warn you that we may lose connection if you are speaking on your landline phone; press 2 for no signal; press 2 to decline to take a brief 2-minute survey; and please be advised that the call wait time is 9 minutes, due to unusually heavy volume.”
OK, so now I’m on speakerphone, back to stirring the dinner on the stove, turning the meat on the grill, and tech #2 comes on the phone. I’m asked to provide my name, phone #, and a description of the problem. I explain that I was just disconnected from tech #1, hoping to be transferred back, or to pick up from the end of the last conversation. No such luck. I’m told the techs are randomly connected to customer calls. I went through the complete explanation all over again and told him that we already had a signal sent to the modem and that all we’re seeing on the Internet is the Comcast page with instructions on how to set up an account.
I explained that we already have an account, don’t need to set up a new one, and would just like Internet service restored. He insists on resending a signal to the modem and asks for the CMAC 12-digit code on the Arris modem. Ok, so now we’re marching down to the basement with flashlight in hand. We find the black box and we’re instructed to look for the code near the barcode sticker. I find the barcode and read off what’s there. I’m told that’s not the right code and it should be on the back of the box. I say, “the box is connected to the wall, do you want me to rip it off the wall?” The tech says, “Oh no Ma’am, that’s alright, we’ll just resend the signal.” I’m waiting for him to resend the signal and my cell phone goes dead. OK, now I’m determined to find the code on the back of box. The Comcast installer attached it to the wall, so it must detach from the wall. I slide it in four different directions, while my son says, “no, now wait mom, I’ll get it.” Well, it finally comes lose from the wall and sure enough, it says, Arris on the back and there’s a 12-digit code.
Time to take the food off the stove and remove the meat from the grill, but I’ve lost my appetite by now. Husband and son have no problems eating. Son decides it might be best to do the dishes.
I sit with laptop in hand and contemplate the error of my ways. The one perk I have is to occasionally work from home. No X-box or Facebook for my son is one thing, but take away my WFH and that’s another story. I boot up, just per chance the signal the last tech sent might have done the trick. I launch Internet Explorer and there’s that same Comcast account set up page. I notice a Chat option in the upper right corner. Ah ha, maybe I can do better with Chat. I sign on and I’m off and chatting with tech #3.
I explain that I’ve lost Internet service, had the signal sent twice to the modem, and I don’t understand why I’m being directed to an account sign on page. I tell him I have the CMAC, 12-digit code. He tells me he’s going to resend the signal to the modem and not close the chat window. It’s raining now, lighting strikes nearby, and there’s a clap of thunder. My dog bolts past my laptop, rips out the power cord from the back, the screen flickers, and tech #3 is back in cyberspace.
Ok, so now I’ve had it. I plug in my cell phone into the charger, call the 1-800 number, and push 5 to cancel my account. It’s now 9:20PM and I wait another 9 minutes to speak to a customer service representative. I explain that I’m ready to cancel my account after wasting over 4 hours trying to troubleshoot a problem with my Internet service. She listens very intently and then explains in a very apologetic and consoling manner that she is very sorry for the service I’ve received thus far, but she is in the Video Department.
She suggests that I speak with a Supervisor and asks me to hold while she transfers me. I think ah, at last, I’ve reached someone with half a brain who knows how to have a dialog without reading from a pre-scripted sheet of customer responses. After being placed on hold, I begin hearing pre-recorded messages that are designed to encourage customers to take advantage of online, self-service, trouble-shooting for modem issues. Certainly a preferable option, if only you had online service.
